Being, Not Doing

I have never been a morning person. It takes me at least 30 minutes to realise I am even awake! Now, as a mother, most of the time I am rushing around trying to do everything all at once: brush teeth, find clothes to wear, make them eat breakfast. There is very little time to just be. To figure out what I want out of the day.

This last week I noticed that this mayhem I put upon myself has been hurting me. I am essentially setting myself up for more mayhem. I only realised this because at the end of last week I had built up these tickets (as my therapist likes to call them), each small thing (or ticket) that bothers me that I do not address in the moment builds and builds and builds, until I have a box full of overflowing tickets and the only way out is to explode - which is what I did. I exploded.

I had to find a different approach…

The experiment

So instead of exploding, I have been experimenting with starting the day on a simple but highly valuable question. So far, I have noticed that I am much more grounded. My intention, and the answer to this question, is to be the Open, Calm, Resilient me, instead of the mayhem me.

So here are some very simply yet valuable questions to start your day with:

💫 How do I want to show up today?

💫 What is the one small thing that will make me feel happy? (and do this at least once a day)

💫 What does my breathing sound like? (If it's fast, then do 4 breaths in, 6 breaths out, for 5 mins or try one of these techniques)

The scientific evidence

Setting positive intentions or goals can have a huge impact on mental wellbeing, especially if you are consistent with asking yourself what you want for yourself every day.

The research → Neuroscientific research shows that the brain is adaptable and can change over time. Setting and pursuing intentions can create new neural pathways that promote more positive thinking patterns and emotional regulation. This adaptability of the brain helps make it possible for you to improve your mental health.

On a separate but related note, I’m currently reading “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” which is about mental health from the perspective of a woman who lives on the Upper East Side of New York. It is highly entertaining whilst at the same time gives you insight into your own mental health - I highly recommend!

Hope your experiment goes well, let me know how it’s going over @hapehaven - would love to get your thoughts!

Sending much love,

Meg