The Art of Noticing

This week I was paralysed by an avalanche of anxious thoughts. I had to remind myself of where I am: looking for a new job and interviewing with many different companies. This process of finding a new job has clearly led to this inner turmoil. It's situational. It's outside of myself. I need to let go of this need to control.

What I am in control of is my mind and body.

I realise now this avalanche may have happened because since I started this process of finding a new job I haven’t slowed down. I keep going and going and going, and then I pause for a moment and the avalanche arrives. Suddenly and without warning, I was lying in bed on Wednesday night after weeks of multiple interviews and ups and downs, the house was silent and the kids were asleep, and I had this strange feeling like I was in labour again. It was this… I know I need to move to get things going again but I can't move because I am so exhausted. This was then followed by intrusive thoughts like I should have said this, or, why didn't I do this or you are not doing enough.

On reflection today, there are a couple of learnings here:

1. I need to pause more often rather than hold off until that moment of avalanche - this means finding more moments to breathe (literally)

2. I need to remember to use the tools my therapist gave me when I begin to spiral into thought-oblivion (or thought-sabotage)

Here is are 5 ways I tame my spiralling thoughts, and I hope it's useful for you too (always worth a try!):

💫 Noticing how you're feeling with no judgement and letting go

NOTICING

➡️ What am I sensing?

➡️ How am I feeling?

➡️ What is my mind doing?

LABELING

Finding words for feelings deactivates

➡️ I'm mind reading

➡️ I'm overwhelmed

➡️ I'm making assumptions

➡️ I'm not putting boundaries in place

NEUTRALISING

Recognize and thank your mind

Do this in a kind and warm gentle way:

"I know you're trying to help me"

💫 Thinking of yourself as a firefighter

Put out the flames of anxiety with some cool, deep breaths. . Breathe in and out, deeply and slowly. According to many different studies of the brain, when you slow down your breathing, you trick your body into thinking you’re relaxing or going to sleep.

💫 Get some perspective

Anxiety can stem from worry about a lot of things that aren’t necessarily important right now. You might be what my therapist calls "'catastrophizing." Consider how this will really impact you in five days, five months or five years?

💫 Soothe your system

Try some yoga stretches, I really love the Yoga with Adrienne YouTube yoga routines as they're really gentle and she focuses on your breathing which also calms these niggling thoughts.

💫 Talk it out

Research proves that simply naming your feelings can help calm you down. This is easier to do when you share your feelings with others. I will usually go chat to my partner or message a friend and this does seem to help, it also puts these thoughts in perspective.

Sending you all much love,

Meagan

@hapehaven